I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
