what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
