its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
