I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
