I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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