dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
