No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
