Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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