Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
