My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
