I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
