if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
