you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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