omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
