We won't sleep together?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
