1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
