Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
