There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
