This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
