the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
