Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
