The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
