And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize