i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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