There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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