I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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