Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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