I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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