my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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