He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
