Umm I'm too high to move.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
