Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
