My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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