ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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