i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
