I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
