If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
