Is it because I queefed?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
