My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
