I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize