I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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