Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize