I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
