I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
