break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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