Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize