I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We had to coat check the pizza.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
