Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
