that's an acceptable place to lick
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
