Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
