dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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