So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
