Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
