you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
