At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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