Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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