I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
