why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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