Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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