We're facebook friends in real life
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
