Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
