She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
